A Visit to My Mind
I once paid a hypnotist so that he could trick me to stop smoking
And when he took out his magic pendulum, lulling me to sleep,
I fell into a black void and a voice told me that I was in my mind.
There were avalanches of chocolate brown hair, collapsing into purple goo that spun like a whirlpool
And old thoughts that spontaneously combusted.
I was joined by my old imaginary friend, Jim,
Who had grown a beard like a raggedy hipster in a rock band,
Wearing a Che Guevara shirt and converse sneakers.
He told me he wasn’t mad at me for telling my mom he ate the chocolate chip cookies she baked
But could I at least have saved him one?
I ditched him at the Theatre of Dreams and skipped onto the yellow brick road,
Which broke apart as I stepped on it, shooting me into the black sky,
Where I saw ideas glowing like the sun, running on idealism instead of hydrogen.
I tossed and turned like an insomniac
Waiting for the shotgun blasts of an owl, screeching hoot-hoot-hoot into the night
Before being spit out into a storage room where old thoughts and ideas were filed into categories
Like Dangerous, Way Too Stupid and Forgotten.
My stomach growled so I went over to a restaurant
Where nothing but baked potatoes and apples were served.
So I ordered from an oompa loompa, took directions from a pirate, and went to see the Great Guide,
Who turned out to be a GPS system with the voice of my mom,
Saying “Hi, I’m Sharon. Where would you like to go?”
And I typed in a phrase and shot through a cannon over to my unconscious,
Who was busy watching id and ego fight
While super-ego shrieked, “Why can’t we just get along?”.
I watched ego lay a Muhammad Ali on id, who Mike Tysoned the hell out of him back
And I walked back to the Theater of Dreams, just in time to see a sneak preview of tonight’s dream
Where I met up with Jim again. He led me to the Hall of Memories,
Where all my achievements were lined up like trophies and my failures were stashed in a back room
So they wouldn’t have to be seen.
He took me to a special screening room
Where I watched myself win a free gift card, lose my keys, and have my first kiss.
And when I was done, the inhabitants of my mind wished me farewell
With a slow song until I floated out of my mind and into my body again,
feeling like I’d gone through a car wreck.
Now I don’t have to smoke anymore
But I wake up thinking about Jim, who asks me, “Why did you leave me?”
And see my id and ego laying blow after blow on each other
While the ideas from the Forgotten cabinet turn to dust
And I say I’ll take better care of my mind,
Maybe do some spring cleaning or hire a decorator
And I’ll feel better about the things I’ve left behind
And the thoughts that I will never visit again.