In Which I Talk About Sex…

Lately, I’ve been thinking about sex. I know, awkward subject, Savanna. How dare you speak of that? But that’s my point exactly: why is sex so awkward? We view sex as both this forbidden thing, this sacred thing that must be shared with one you love, that must be kept until marriage and yet this thing that we do with friends and call it “benefits”, that we sing about in vulgar songs, that has become so casual. How can sex be both casual and sacred?

I know that it’s religion that makes many people view sex as sacred. I remember a conversation I had with my best friend. She told me that she planned to save herself for marriage because it was a tribute to God. I was doubtful that she could do it. I gave a speech which came down to me saying that, in this day and age, it’s harder to save yourself for marriage and that it’s not as important to people. We’ve got peer pressure, we’ve got the media. It’s much harder for a sixteen year old girl to say, “Well, I’ll wait until I’m married.” when she probably won’t get married until she’s almost thirty. In the ‘olden’ days, girls were married off much younger…they had sex much younger. There wasn’t all this hullabaloo about having boyfriends first and then working your way up to mister right.

I’m all for the right to make your own decisions in relation to your sexuality. If you want to save yourself, go ahead. It’s your choice. What I’m pointing out is that it’s extremely hard to do in this day and age. The Christian establishment puts all this blame on girls that have lost their virginity though. They’re ‘impure’ and must be born again as virgins. Since when did being a non-virgin make you automatically evil? Is this the mysterious 11th Commandment that Moses forgot to etch into stone? Your sex life is exactly that: your sex life. Save yourself if you want to but if you find someone that you love, if you find someone that you want to intimately be with then do it! Don’t let people tell you that it’s wrong, that you’ve committed a spiritual crime.

I’m of the impression that God as amazing as he is, doesn’t really care whether or not your hymen is intact, girls. God is forgiving. God is loving. We shouldn’t make him out to be this overbearing figure that is prejudiced and unrelenting. Although I believe in the bible, I realize that it was written by men who were living in a time of different standards. And I believe that they put some of their ideas that were shaped by these standards in the bible. I mean, for God’s sake, some of the books of the bible are letters. Yes, they’re letters from prophets but they’re still letters. This isn’t God directly speaking to us.

My idea of God is shaped by what I’ve seen in life, what I’ve read in the bible and of what I instinctively know to be true. I suppose I’m getting a little anti-religion but I do believe that organized religions can sometimes restrict our spirituality. And back to the topic of this post, it can restrict our sexuality. I mean, if God didn’t want us to enjoy ourselves a bit, why would sex feel good? Don’t be a slut but enjoy yourself a bit. Do what you want!

Now, for the casual side of sex. Sex has always been to me something that you do with a person that you love. That’s just my opinion of it. I mean, I think that casual sex is, if you want to do it, fine. It’s just making sure that you’re ‘safe’ and not becoming a complete slut that people need to remember. But once again, sex was made to be enjoyed. I do think that our society has become too focused on sex though. We’ve had these sexual revolutions. Sex has become more casual. It’s everywhere in the media. We’re all encouraged to be these raging nymphomaniacs. Just like with religion, don’t let the media control your sexuality. If you want to wait, wait. If you don’t, don’t. Just don’t let anyone else decide for you.

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